Education Major, Fitness instructor, Zumba enthusiast, and French speaker living life one crazy day at a time.

 

The Caged Tiger

Fierce.
Sassy.
Locked in.
Ready to pounce.

Tears bursting.
Emotions rising.
On edge.
About to strike.

Seeking adventure.
Finding none.
Caged in.

Most of the time, I’m okay here; I just tell myself to power through. But other times, this unexplainable sadness rushes over me and I can barely hold back my tears. I know I’ve said this before— I’m not happy here. If I didn’t know what true happiness was, I don’t think this would be such a big deal. It would be uncomfortable, but I’d be okay with it. On the other hand, I do know what happiness is. Here, I experience it once in a while in little moments. Like when my favorite song comes on the radio, or when I’m discussing the world’s problems with my friends over a plate of fries. But, it’s not  enough. It’s not like France where even at the lowest moments of my life, such as when I was homeless, I was happy. No matter what curveballs were thrown at me, I was always okay with it and happy. Here, the tiniest thing flips my switch and I am angry or upset.

5 weeks. 3 days. That’s my mantra. I will survive this time at ‘home.’ It hasn’t been pleasant, but I’ll get through it. Soon, I’ll be in Australia. I hope I find happiness there.

I have learned that I cannot live here again. It is not a viable option for my future. And that is a good thing to be aware of.

My idea of rich is that you can buy every book you ever want without looking at the price and you’re never around assholes. That’s the two things to really fight for in life.

John Waters  (via detailsdetales)

(Source: marion--crane)

I am fed up with picking up the slack from my inadequate coworkers. Seriously people?! Common sense.

In other news, only 5 weeks left of this mundane job.